"Too many mind... No mind."

You can blame it on post-travel blues, you can blame it on the fact that I have been denied the chance to study Mandarin this year, and you can blame the fact that I am far away from someone I truly love and care about. But, I feel like I am at a melting point in my life. I feel that precious time is ticking by so slowly when I want it to go faster, and precious time runs too fast when I want to enjoy the moments. My mind is almost at the brink of exploding from one too many questions about what to do in life, how to achieve this and that, and money.
One of my many disadvantages is not being able to handle change very well. Either I get extremely upset and unable to cheer myself up until after quite some time or I become extremely sensitive about everything. I admit that because having just arrived back from an amazing month's stay in Daegu, which has gotten me feeling all depressed and empty. The experience was biased, having my boyfriend with me the entire time, was the entire point of my staying there so long. And so, of course, there was nothing but just fun times for me. But this is what makes me so motivated to go back to South Korea. I want to experience working there. The act of living in South Korea, living among a culture unfamiliar to me (even though I am of the same East Asian relation), and to be plopped into a society of different norms, was just an eye-opening experience that I want to do all over again. Ever since I arrived back here, bout with a mild fever from the sudden weather change, I have been researching endlessly for ways to go back to South Korea, and this time for an actual purpose. To find an internship, to work, or to study. So far, I've only been able to find one. If I had found more, I'd have to say this first one is the best because it is in Daegu, in the very university that my boyfriend studies in. My motivations for this internship is not for my boyfriend. If I do succeed in being accepted, my boyfriend would have already graduated and would most likely be working somewhere in Daegu. Anyway, I would get the chance to interact with university students and be able to help them with their English, while assisting the department where I would be placed in. Being put in this environment, I can't imagine the plethora of information I would be receiving both physically, mentally and emotionally. It's a paid internship so that just sweetens the deal by a long shot! But before, I apply, I must be accepted into a graduate course, as I have to have a student status at the time of application.
But before I can apply, I have too many things on mind that need doing. The fact that it's the weekend where nothing is open and I am unable to do my university-related matters is the most troublesome of all. On top of that, I have these smaller issues that need doing, yet I am unsure of how to start at them. The best solution is to just start doing something, but for me, it's easier said than done. I am afraid of many things at the moment. I need a friend to talk to, I need my boyfriend to talk to, but I feel like both of these are too busy at the moment. Waiting is the best thing to do. But what do I do while I wait??
My mind is cluttered with information and it needs to be organised. I need to organise things out and make sure I do what's most important first.

대구 사랑

Korea was simply amazing. It's funny how Koreans don't really seem to understand the growing curiosity and fascination that foreigners constantly speak of about their country. It was beyond my imagination how interesting the entire experience would be. Being back home, I want to go back and experience more of it. I want to experience the other sides of Korean society. I've been able to witness a lot of customs and things that might be considered strange and out-of-place in Western society.
I lived in Daegu for almost one month. It was an amazing experience, being supported and helped by my boyfriend. Daegu is the third largest city in Korea. Yet, for Koreans, they consider Daegu to be a country-side city. Seoul, and perhaps Busan, seems to be the only two highly urbanised cities. I enjoyed living in Daegu, because things were less expensive and less stressful than living in the megalopolis city of Seoul. It still had everything an urbanised city should have. Downtown Daegu was a lot of fun, and a lot bigger than people would assume.

Living in a new culture for a month and witnessing so many new things has sparked my urge to back to Daegu and get an internship there. I have found one and am hoping beyond all things that I will get offered a spot. Fingers crossed for me and my endeavour to go back to a place that stole my heart.

Cafe culture

Korean cafes are so fascinating that they deserve a book of its own. Within five years, the cafe concept has boomed enormously, and has gained popularity especially among the younger generations to university students. It would be great to compile a portfolio of all the cafes I go to and compile information and images of each cafe I go to.

Empathy anyone?

It sure is hard to keep this blog from being a travel journal to a personal blog where I just want to let my feelings out. At the moment, however, this is exactly what I want to do. Hoping that whoever reads this can bear through just one entry of my unnecessary complaining, I only wish to let out questions and my opinions on certain things regarding your loved ones, i.e. your boyfriends.
Being with my boyfriend, being reunited with him after 5 long months of separation feels amazing. Every day, I never forget to give thanks that I am able to travel all this way to spend this great month with him. All things seem to be going great. However, as time has passed by, his being in Korea has somehow limited his English knowledge... again. It's quite amusing considering that he's preparing for an English exam that will greatly aid him in his search for work once he finishes. Despite all this preparation for the exam, he seems to have forgotten a fair amount of English. Communicating with him, on the whole, has been somewhat alright. But there are times when I think to myself, how could he have forgotten this or that? I never make fun or criticise his English, but there are times when it is necessary to let him be aware of such things. How I wish I could communicate with him fully and wholeheartedly. Whenever I do, all I usually get in return is a confused look and the question to repeat what I had just said again. It's frustrating to do, but I try my best to give a poker face and tell the story again. It was only tonight as I was sitting in the café with him, when he simply just picked up a book and started reading it rather than trying to talk to me. And this hasn't been the only time that this has happened. This has happened pretty much every time we are alone together. They only fully-functioning topic on his mind is sex, as sad as it may sound. I feel that because of this limitation, I am missing out on something more amazing in our relationship. How I wish he would try to talk to me, to chat with me. I want him to be able to talk to me freely, to come to me when he has problems. I want to be his home away from home. I want to help him with his problems! Let him know that I am his beacon of light. But because of certain barriers, this prevents me from fully giving my aid to him, as much as I want to.
What is the solution to this? Either I study my arse off in Korean, or he simply tries to talk to me some more. I know his English is just as good as it was when we were in Seattle. It's hard to remind him of that. I get extremely jealous when he can have a fully conversation with some friends of his (who happen to be girls), when all he can do is remain silent whenever he's with me. It hurts a lot to see this. It makes me feel like I'm a bore, that there is nothing decent to talk about or at least worth TRYING to talk about. It hurts. I try to tell him, but I feel like he doesn't fully understand what I mean. What to do, what do to... That is the question.

대구

I am overlooking a view of a park in central Daegu, where the bustling downtown area is located in. After months of patient waiting, I am finally in Daegu. I've been here for a week already. I have two more weeks before I go back to Australia, which is a most saddening thought. But like Maxwell always says, why do I have to worry about that when I here now. It's better to focus on the present and have fun whenever I can rather than spend all this time dreading the moment I have to leave again.
Currently, I am in Daegu, the third biggest city in South Korea. Much to the opinions of locals saying that there is nothing to see in Daegu, I find it to be an absolutely charming city that's just as amazing and exciting as Seoul. The sheer size of Seoul was quite daunting and it seemed that even four days was not enough to tour parts of Seoul. Daegu, on the other hand, is definitely smaller than Seoul, but it's urban life is just as exciting as that of it's bigger sister. The night life is particularly amazing to be a part of. I have yet to try my hand at capturing almost perfectly the night life of Daegu with my camera, but that time will come.
I live in the student district of the prestigious university Kyungpook National University where my boyfriend is currently a senior at. Living here, I get to enjoy the student-friendly prices as well as amazing new cuisines that I've never tried before. I live in a small studio apartment which I paid for at an amazingly heartmelting price. I pretty much have all the needed amenities like a kitchen with a refrigerator, hot water, ondol floor (this feels like heaven in winter!), bathroom, and even a washing machine. It's pretty amazing how much I've saved myself. However, electricity is paid separately so I'm not too excited about the expected higher price to pay for that.
Aside from that, it's been quite cold here with no snow, but it's been an enjoyable experience.