Do I see the end of a relationship that I initially thought to last a million years? It's amusing to an extent on how we blind ourselves with impossible dreams. Some things are meant to be, as Elvis Presley says in his song Can't Help Falling in Love with You. And like that very title says, we cannot help human nature. It blinds us to these temporary pleasures of life. Would it be wrong to claim those very pleasure in life to be the essence of a fulfilled life? I feel depressed and extremely empty inside. My emotions are bursting at the seams, but I don't have the time to do that just yet. I imagine what he might be doing. Getting crazy with that crazy American woman. She is the antitheses of who I am. I can remember how much fun he had, and I envied that he couldn't even demonstrate that kind of fun with me. It's both hurtful and insulting, as I have mentioned already. I wonder what they must be doing now. Could they be groping each other? Could she be using her disgusting devil charms to lure him? I have been contemplating if the end is near for us. It is bad luck to even think of it, but tonight has really made me consider it. I am absolutely devastated by the results of ht internships, and hoping that he would be there to support me when I needed it most, he gives me this stupid excuse for being drunk. I am disgusted and ashamed at him. I am disappointed in him. I've lost nearly all of my respect for him. I want to turn off my phone, but it's my only gateway to friends. I don't want to talk to him anymore. I just want to run away somewhere where I am free from these strings tying me down. He pulls me down. He has caused me ache and pain. The kind of pain I've never felt before. While he muses away with some bimbo Americano, I sit here worried of what they might be doing. It disgusts me and scares me. Being in this big city also makes me feel all the more alone. I do feel like no one is really there for me, no one cares for me. I've only got the dog who shows genuine affection to wanting to be by my side.

... Life is cruel.