I feel like the smallest person in the world. I try to scream out loud and yet no one can hear me. I feel like the most isolated person. I am thankful to have met many new friends in this year. Without some other form of support, I think I would feel even more terrible than I already am. I have never felt more blue than today. It's ironic that I should be feeling this down in life when I have just finished my first semester of classes.
Today, I received extremely disappointing news. I did not get into the internship at KNU. I am absolutely disappointed. I have lost a lot of that motivation that pushed me to look for any way to get to Korea. What makes it worse is the current state of my relationship. It seems that HE prefers to get drunk with his American friends rather than chat to me. The way he makes it sound is such a insulting and hurtful remark to me. I am absolutely heartbroken over his poor behaviour and disrespectful attitude. Clearly, he would rather get drunk and flirt with these American folks, particularly an American girl that he used to have a thing for. Do you know how uncomfortable I am with that? I know he has a penchant for American girls. I have no idea what he is up to. He's clearly drunk, I'm sure those American folks are clearly drunk, who knows what will happen.
I have become extremely hollow inside. I placed too much hope on this internship and, hence, I am suffering the consequences. As soon as I read that word that ignited my world freezing for one long second, that "unfortunate" word that made me rejected. I feel like I have been rejected from two people. It really hurts. I can't seem to focus on anything now. It's a critical stage where I need to finish homework. I have many assessments due in the coming weeks. I need to find some time to sit somewhere and think of where I am going in life. Someone give me hope. I'm afraid it's almost about depleted.
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